Desensitized and Minimized

On January 20, I spent the afternoon at the Illinois Holocaust Museum and Education Center (IHMEC). I was strategically avoiding play-by-play coverage of the inauguration, planning to catch up later, and thought that the museum would provide a place where I could reflect on the legacy of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I also wanted a place where I could weigh the chronology of another leader's ascent to power and how complicity and fear were enabling factors.

As I walked through the exhibit, there were two men following not far behind me. They appeared disinterested in what surrounded them, an immersive collection of photos, videos artifacts, and words representing the timeline of the Holocaust. Their conversation, easily overheard, was about a road trip one took from Phoenix to Chicago. He pulled out his phone and was showing photos to the other man, providing detailed descriptions. He lamented the lack of hotels between the Grand Canyon and Santa Fe. He complained about driving in the dark.

After a few backward glances (and some side eye) hoping they would take the hint, I finally mustered the courage to speak up.

"Hey, guys," I said. "Can you take this conversation elsewhere? It's really not appropriate for this space."

They both seemed startled at the direct ask but were apologetic and then silent. By this time, we were in a section of the exhibit dedicated to mass execution and the transportation of Jewish people to concentration camps. There were videos of people falling into graves and photos of emaciated people forming lines outside of gas chambers. Just a few steps in front of me was an authentic German rail car that carried Jewish people to the places where they would be murdered.

Because I did such an excellent job avoiding the news all day, it wasn't until evening that I saw the coverage of Elon Musk’s gesture, widely interpreted to be a Nazi salute. Scrolling through social media, I gasped... and then was further chagrined to see how many media outlets were coming to Musk's defense, explaining away what has historically served as a dog whistle for hatred and violence.

Trying to reconcile the day's events, I was fearful and confused. While I don't think the two men at IHMEC were antisemitic, their desensitization to the experience they were in — and the experience those around them were having — was unsettling. To then factor in a collective explaining away of Musk's actions left me feeling perplexed, questions spinning in my mind. How did the humanity of Jewish people become erasable? When did we reach a point of comfortable oblivion in regard to such pain and harm?

And that's how we landed here, friends. As many of you know, I process life through reading and writing. For the last four months, I have tried to understand my place as a Jewish woman in a world that is increasingly loud about how I don't fit in (the number of antisemitic incidents in the U.S. has increased 360 percent since October 7, 2023, which doesn't begin to account for unreported incidents and microaggressions). I have read books about antisemitism and Judaism, watched documentaries, sought counsel from a rabbi, talked to my Jewish friends about my experiences and theirs, attended services at synagogue, and written. Oh, have I written.

It's time to take (some of) that writing public in a way that it may help others. My goals are simple — to provide a small space where I can process modern antisemitism and a place where I can (I hope) help others better understand the lived experience of Jews. I will add a disclaimer here that I can only speak for my own lived experience. I won't claim to speak on behalf of any other Jewish people, even those whose stories I hold in my trust. I also own my privilege (which we'll explore in a more nuanced way later) as living in a suburb of Chicago where there is a vibrant Jewish community and resources that support my identity.

I don’t have an end game here, nor do I have a plan for how often I’ll publish. I want to be a resource, but I also want to be mindful of my own capacity as I process the world around me.

Thanks for joining me on wherever this goes.